Hey, i am 19 years old living in new york city. My problem is about a guy, and it's a serious issue for me thats been affecting me greatly and it's not rediculous and childish as it sounds. I recently started a new job at a restaurant that pretty much like, but all the other girls that i'm hostessing with are models, who the managers flirt with constantly. I don't think i'm an ugly girl, but I can't compare with the models. Anyway there was a waiter there who was an older man (only 29, not really am older man, but older than me, which i need a man who is older than me because I am quite mature for my age and do not have much luck with the immature assholes my age. Anyway he really liked me, constantly asking me when we were going to hang out and asking me for my number, and always praising me for how beautiful I was. I was being superficial and convincing myself that I didn't like him because he wasnt that attractive. He had a nice body and was the sweetest guy ever (he was from greece), but in the beginning I didn't like him too much. As time went on I noticed myself convincing myself to change my schedule to be on the same shifts as him, just because I liked the flattery, but before I knew it, I was really beginning to like him. I was speaking with one of my waitress friends and he came up one day and she was telling me how he was so heartbroken after his fiancee left him. She was talking about how much of a good and sweet guy he was and how he really truly cared about her and loved her immensly, and she was rough and had him "on lock", never let him go out with his friends and she never thanked him in any of her plays (she was a broadway actress), only thanked her friends and insignificant people. After hearing this I knew how much of a good guy he was, and it made me like him so much, even more. He told me that I looked like Betty Boop always and was so so sweet to me. My like for him had grown to the point that I couldn't wait to see him. He kept asking me to go hang out with him and i played the coy act. I know now that if you like someone, you should just give them your number or go hang out with them, but I always thought I had tomorrow to get with him. Unfortunately tomorrow never came. One day that we were scheduled to work with him I checked the schedule to see why he wasn't in and saw his name crossed out for all 3 days in the week, and no hours under his name for the next weeks schedule. No one knew why his name was scratched out, but I knew something was wrong. The feeling in my gut was horrible. A few days later, I found out that there was a big shake up in the restaurant because of "service changes" and since he was the newest waiter, he was fired. I am now crushed because I never got to tell him how I felt, and he probably left thinking that I never cared about him. I have pretty much no way to reach him, I can steal his number from the employee contact sheet but I think i'm too afraid to take the inititive, in fear that he'll freak out, or just in fear in general. I never call the guy, i'm used to him calling me, but there is no chance he can call me because he doesn't have my number. I think it would be easier to tell one of the waitresses that still speaks to him that I said hello or for him to give me a call, but shes very judgemental and has a very big mouth so I think she'll say "EWWW HES UGLY" and tell everyone that I liked him (she'll probably still tell him though, but if she doesn't speak to him anymore I ruined my reputation of professionalism and wasted my chance with him. I'm afraid to tell her either. I'm so afraid to reach out to him, and I think he probably hasn't thought of me at all since leaving, or maybe he's been thinking about me like i'm thinking about him. I've been crying for a week and I'm absolutely miserable about this. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!!!
- Location:New York
- Music:Samson by Regina Spektor